Why praying the Rosary, I was thinking about my visits with Mother Mary. I wondered why she doesn’t say the same thing to the people she speaks to. For example, to the Christian seers she would say that she prays for us, to intervene with God for us. She intervenes because he is angry, and she is trying to delay or prevent our punishment. Yet to me she says we are going to destroy ourselves if we do not change. Why are the words not the same no matter whom she speaks to? Suddenly I knew the answer. It was as if it was whispered in my head. It is the same message! It is just tailored to who is receiving it. I do not believe in a vengeful angry God, so those words would make me turn away. A Christian may not believe that we will destroy ourselves because only God has that power. It seemed to suddenly make sense. I wondered again how I could be worthy enough to receive these messages.
I decided to lay down and go into meditation. I imagined myself walking through a beautiful forest. Everything was so vivid. I could see, hear, and smell every part of it. The green pine trees loomed over me. Their trunks were like walls surrounding me and their full green branches where the roof over my head. The sun peaked through ever so gently with the most beautiful streams of light. The birds sang a song of gratitude, and the sound of insects seemed to be in perfect harmony. I walked to the edge of the forest to see a clearing. There was a beautiful waterfall that gently filled a slow-moving river. Around the river were smooth, grey rocks. Beyond the rocks was plush, soft, green grass that swayed with a gentle breeze. Scattered about were the most beautiful wildflowers I had ever seen. The river looked warm and inviting and it sparked with the light of the sun. I laid in the water and let it wash over me. I could feel it’s healing energy. I closed my eyes and remained still, feeling the gentle movement of the water; feeling the sun as it warmed the water and my exposed face.
Suddenly I felt the energy shift. I recognized this energy. It was Jesus. I opened my eyes to find him sitting on a rock at the river’s edge.
He spoke. “This thought of not being worthy comes from parents who were wrong. From Dogma that is interpreted incorrectly. If you were not worthy, would you be here? Would you have all of this?” He stretched out his hand to the scene around us. “Would the sun shine if you were not worthy of it’s warmth? All are equally worthy. That is the law of creation. Does the weed not grow the same as the rose? And more beautiful at times?’ He gestured to the wildflowers. “Not worthy.” He laughed and again looked at the beautiful nature scene around us. “This would be a lot of work if you were not worthy of it. Maybe next time it shouldn’t be so elaborate if humankind is going to destroy it anyway.” My mind began to think of all the things that were happening in politics at the moment. How my country was divided and there was so much hate and anger from both sides. Anger that would build up in me at times.
“Pay no mind.” His words interrupted my thought. “Work on your light. The only way to change things is to increase the light. Just like when you saw shadows in your room. You didn’t worry about how they would change your life and control you. You wanted to increase the light so they would no longer exist. It’s the same thing. Increase your light and it will spread to those around you. Darkness cannot exist in light. And neither can hate.” Teasingly he said, “do you need more?” He gently splashed the water and smiled. What a beautiful smile. It radiated almost as much warmth as the sun.
He continued, “You are loved. You need to remember that. You are not alone. Again, we remind you not to worry about everything else. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Send love.” He smiled and stood up from his seat on the rock. “Until next time.” I watched him fade as he moved away. I closed my eyes and moved my attention back to the water and the warm sun. Something inside of me felt different. I knew I was healing.